Pedophilia is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction towards children/a child.

 Who is a child?

A child is anyone below the age of 18. Also, note that children are gifts from God and He expects us as earthly guardians to take proper Care of every one of them.

One of our major duties is to keep them away from this phycarist patient called a pedophile.

There are different ways children can be abused. Below are some:

CHILD MOLESTATION!

Child Molestation is also known as child sexual abuse. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child.

TYPES OF MOLESTATION:

  1. Defilement
  2. Rape
  3. Fingering
  4. Making a child watch pornography
  5. Exposing the genital to kids
  6. Indecent touching
  7. Fondling etc
  8. WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?
  9. ANYBODY
  10. Studies show that over *95%* of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child's family.

ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS.

They are right there in your house, co-tenants, family members, lesson teachers, neighbors. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates, class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, imams, choirmasters, pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family /school drivers, Afterschool teachers, teachers, mummy's friend, daddy's friend, caregivers, strangers........ the list can go on.
Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because no cause of any of the above has not happened.

CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

  1. Absentee parents.
  2. Parents who do not observe.
  3. When the kids are not informed.
  4. What you watch with your kids.
  5. Indecent dressing by our children.
  6. WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?
  7. On your bed
  8. Right under your nose, under your roof
  9. In the school environment- class, toilet, etc
  10. Hostel 
  11. Parties
  12. In their room (siblings)
  13. Deserted/Abandoned places
  14. When you are distracted etc.
  15. Perpetrators look for opportunities.

*5mins is enough to cause lifelong damage.*

HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?*

  • Grooming
  • Baits
    a. Emotional bait
    b. Gift bait
    c. Financial bait
    d. Familiarity & Respect bait.
  • Child grooming
    Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. -Wikipedia-
    Gaining the trust of a minor to have a sexual relationship with them.


HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER:

  • Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
  • Child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.
  • Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
  • Can be hard on the child especially if the child is rejecting his *moves.*

If any of the above is observed, please, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable/rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.

*Sexual abuse happens among siblings, set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds.*
*We had a case of twins having sex with each other. When they were asked, they said: we see mum and dad do the same.*

Why should we be that careless?

Because of the carelessness of both parents, their innocent minds were polluted and their lives were destroyed.

WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT:

  • I will kill you
  • You will die
  • Your mummy will hate you
  • Your mummy will beat you
  • Your mummy will blame you.
  • Your mummy and your daddy will die.
  • He could cut the child, lick the blood and say: *this is a blood covenant between us, the day you tell is the day you die.*

Teach your child The *SRR* action.

S - Shout/scream
R - Run 
R - Report

POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED:✓Isolation

  • Aggressiveness
  • Anxiety/Fear
  • Difficulty in walking
  • Sudden drop in academic performance
  • Poor social interaction
  • and so on.
  • *OTHERS*
  • ✓Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

Their dressing is important, dress to cover them, please. Teach them privacy. They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room.
It is wrong to bathe them together irrespective of sex.

 *PLEASE NOTE!*
 *children never lie about abuse* If your child tells you someone is trying to mess with him or her... Please believe the child and respond appropriately.

EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

  1. The abused child could become a *serial* abuser
  2. Depression
  3. Suicidal thoughts
  4. Stigma
  5. Guilt
  6. Lifelong psychological trauma
  7. Aggression
  8. Withdrawn
  9. Infected with STDs
  10. Etc
  11. *THE BOYS*

More often than not, we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.
With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims- anal sex but because we *do not pay attention.*
For them, healing is a terrible process.

*WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS* 

Something might just be happening and you perceive not. Do not be a *hard* mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline.
Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education.
Tell them what nobody must do with their body.
Tell them to *speak out.*
In the house, everyone must respect one another's privacy.

*Child molestation is real, it is more painful if it happens under your very nose.*
*Please bond more with our Jewels, we want to receive them back to school bigger and better than they left. Above all, pray for them always. The child molesters will not go near them but we must play our part*

May God helps us all, Please Share.